Breakups suck. No one ever wants to go through that and it’s even more difficult when it happens to you and you would do anything to stop it.
That crushing feeling you get when your boyfriend says that things are over and you feel like you never even had a chance to correct things.
While it’s possible to win an ex back, it’s actually easier to prevent the breakup in the first place and avoid the whole mess.
No matter what your experience has been with breakups before there are a couple of things you can do to derail one if you see it heading towards you.
Instead of beating yourself up over what you could have or should have done, you can take a couple of simple steps to get your relationship back on track and reignite that flame between you and your man.
First, you need to understand the main causes of breakups. It’s not that you’re not good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. The most common reasons for breakups go much deeper than that and sometimes have absolutely nothing to do with you.
What usually happens to make a guy want to break up is lack of momentum in the relationship. You see, men have a deep need to maintain a feeling of moving forward in all aspects of their lives.
This is why men are constantly striving to achieve their goals and prove themselves. This need extends to the relationship as well.
But when a man feels like things aren’t going anywhere or, even worse, he feels like the relationship is holding him back from being successful, he will end up walking away. Most women simply do not know about this need that men have.
Another common reason for breakups is neediness and insecurity. This occurs when you end up making your entire world revolve around your relationship. When you put your relationship on a pedestal as the most important priority in your life, it can end up sabotaging it.
Men do not actually want to be the center of your world. It puts a burden on them because you look to them to put in the same massive amount of effort and to focus on keeping you happy.
When you rely on someone else for your happiness it creates an imbalance that will eventually end up with you being miserable and unfulfilled.
On the other hand, being too independent and hands-off can also push a relationship towards a breakup. I’m not saying that you should operate like a housewife in the 1950′s but men need the chance to be men and to treat you like a woman.
When you act like you can do everything on your own and you don’t need a man, guess what: you end up without a man.
Men need to be needed sometimes. Otherwise, they end up asking themselves what the hell they’re doing in the relationship. They need an opportunity here and there to feel like they are taking care of you and doing something for you to make your life easier.
Now that you can see some of the reasons guys really breakup for you can start making moves to prevent one in the first place.
The most important thing to keep in mind is to always keep a guy chasing you a bit. Just stay one step out of his reach so that he never feels like he has you locked down completely.
This taps into his need to chase and achieve things. If he feels like you are just an inch away, he keeps striving and will continue to do so, keeping his attention and momentum up.
It’s not about playing games though. It’s a simple matter of not making a man your entire world. When you have your own life going on outside of the relationship, a man feels like he can breath and he isn’t responsible for keeping you happy.
He also doesn’t feel like he can get away with whatever he wants. If you’re always one step ahead of him, he is constantly chasing you because he never quite has you and it drives him nuts (in a good way!).
Think of it like dangling a string in front of a cat. As long as the string is moving, the cat will play with it. But the moment that it “catches” the string it struts off to find something else to play with.
If you feel a breakup is on the horizon, another thing you can do is inject a bit of life into it by being spontaneous and unpredictable.
Men respond to action over words. They don’t want to sit down with you and “talk things out”. They don’t want to discuss feelings.
The best way to break through to your guy is to do something fun and crazy. Guys love being active and getting involved in new, exciting activities.
A lot of the time when relationships fall into a routine and a guy gets bored, he’s simply looking for something new but not necessarily a new relationship. He just needs that spark of energy that the relationship isn’t providing any more.
Getting out of your comfort zone and doing something new gives a man that all-important sense of momentum and it also reminds him of how much fun you two have together. When a relationship starts to feel stale, the best thing you can do is get off the beaten path and get your mind off of things.
Men don’t stay in relationships that they don’t feel good in. They need to feel great, have a good time with you, and not constantly be pestered and nagged about things.
I know it’s difficult to not focus on the negative when you can feel a breakup right around the corner. But the more attention that you pay to all of the bad and wrong things in your relationship, the more you actually push it towards a breakup.
In order to save what you have you need to focus on the positive, hence the new activities and having fun. Talking to a man about what is going “wrong” will get you nowhere.
You will find that the more you notice that is positive in the relationship, the more you will appreciate it and get him to see the good in it as well.
Preventing a breakup is a walk in the park once you know what to do. Most breakups happen for the reasons mentioned above, no matter what excuse a guy gives you. The excuses he makes up are just to soften the blow.
But understanding what really makes a man want to break up gives you all the info you need to turn your relationship right around and back on track.