If you’re like most women, at one point or another you’ve probably run into the situation of a man who is reluctant to commit at some point or another.
It happens more often than you think and it doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you or that you aren’t good enough.
Knowing how to get a guy to commit to you may seem like an impossible task if you don’t know what makes him want to commit in the first place.
The good news is that there isn’t any luck to it or standard to measure up to in order for a man to make the move to commitment.
Any woman can get commitment from the man she wants when she knows why a man may be reluctant to commit in the first place and what he needs in order to get over that hurdle himself.
When a man is reluctant to commit it is usually because he is content with the way things are and he doesn’t see a reason to do anything more.
Now, that doesn’t mean that you can never get your relationship to the next level and hear him call you his girlfriend or commit to you exclusively. It simply means that you have to press the right buttons to motivate him into locking you down once and for all.
The mistake that most women make is to badger their guy into committing or calling them his girlfriend.
They pester, poke, and prod until the guy either finally relents and gives in with a growing feeling of resentment or he walks away from the whole thing.
If there is one tried and true fact about men it’s that you can’t push them to do anything and the more you shove, the further away you actually push them from you.
When a man is distracted by your persistence he ends up enjoying the relationship less and pulling away from you.
Imagine that you have a friend who keeps badgering you to have lunch with her. At first you’re glad to set a date to go out with her. But she keeps pestering you and sending you text messages, voicemails, and wondering when you are finally going to have lunch and to lock down a date and place.
After a while you just want to avoid her and avoid the lunch altogether because you are so sick of hearing her request all the time. It puts a strain on your friendship and you end up feeling worse because of it.
You certainly don’t want this same thing to happen with a guy who you really like and want that commitment from.
The most important thing you can do to get commitment from your guy is to stop pestering him right now. The next time you feel the need to bring up why you’re not exclusive or why he can’t just call you his girlfriend, simply keep that thought to yourself.
If you’ve brought it up to him before that’s more than enough times. He now knows that you want something more than what you currently have.
It’s ok to want more or to want to be exclusive with the guy you like. As long as you are honest with yourself there’s no harm in knowing what you want.
The key is to realize your self-worth. What I mean by that is that you are not willing to settle for less than what you want and deserve.
If you feel that you are putting your all into getting this relationship started and you know that you want to take things to the next level, you can’t sit back and say “oh well, I guess this is how things are going to be.”
Men love women who know what they want in life and go after it. They like when you aren’t willing to settle because that means that you have standards and you have self-esteem.
This doesn’t mean that you continue to tell him what you want and how much it would mean to you if he would also step up and give you the commitment you desire. Remember, that only comes off as nagging and will push him away from you.
Instead, if you aren’t getting the commitment you want and he’s not calling you his girlfriend or declaring exclusivity then you need to keep your options open.
Until he locks you down and makes sure that you are exclusive to each other, you are as good as free to do as you please. After all, he hasn’t made that commitment to you yet.
When you keep your options open and continue to live your life, it shows a guy that you are not wrapped up in him and waiting around until he feels like making a change.
It shows that you have your own life going on and you know what you deserve, what you want, and you aren’t going to sit by simply because he is content with the way things are.
Now he knows that you are keeping your options open and if someone else comes along, they may snatch you up.
It’s almost like an electric jump start on a car when a guy realizes that he might lose something he thought that he had. Now it’s up to him to make that move to lock you down or leave things as they are.
Of course, if you like the relationship as is, then don’t worry about anything or anyone else. And certainly don’t start letting anyone else’s advice get inside your head and start messing things up.
Friends may have the best intentions but they don’t always know what is best for you. If you are happy with not having a “label” or commitment in your relationship, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
You can politely decline to hear their advice or listen to it and thank them for it. There is no reason to live by anyone else’s “relationship rules” such as a guy needs to call you his girlfriend after the 4th date or whatever other silly things people come up with.
The main point is, you should not stay in a relationship that you are not happy in with the hopes that it will change. This means that you should live by the concept of what you currently have as a relationship and not live by the potential of what you see that it could be.
What I mean by this is, you may look at your current situation and imagine how it can evolve from simple dating to becoming exclusive to becoming something even more serious.
That could all happen but you can’t live as if it will. This is why you keep your options open so that if someone else comes along who can and will give you the relationship you are looking for, you will be open to it instead of hanging around waiting for things to change when they might not.
A man needs motivation to do anything in life and the best and easiest way to motivate him to commit is to simply keep the option open that he may lose you unless he makes the move to lock you down.
It’s as simple as that. There is no need to throw out an ultimatum or get into yet another argument about why he can’t simply call you his girlfriend and be done with it.
He just needs to know that he could lose you and it’s up to him to make a move now to prevent that from happening and keep you in his life.
With Love,
Nick Bastion
