Are you driving yourself crazy trying to reach your man’s heart? Would you give anything to break through his shell and get him to open up to you?
The secret to cracking through a man’s shell and getting him to see you as having girlfriend or relationship potential is much easier than you would expect.
You may have a guy you are interested in or you might be dating someone now. But no matter what you do, he just won’t seem to commit to you.
You have a great time together and you want something more but you’re at a total loss on how to get him to see that you are the woman for him.
Everything you do is an effort to prove to him how great you are, how wonderful it is to be around you, and how he would be stupid to not want to lock you down.
Unfortunately, most women go about this in the completely wrong way and can even harm their chances in getting the guy to commit.
See, what most women don’t understand is that you focus on the wrong things when trying to take a relationship to the next level. You focus on things that actually don’t matter while completely ignoring the things that are going to really make all the difference to a man.
Magazines and society fill your head with all sorts of tricks and gimmicks to prove to a man that he should choose you.
This is completely twisted backwards and sends you down the wrong pathway when trying to get the man that you want to commit fully to you.
Things like leaving notes in his jacket pocket, acting like a challenge, or cooking him dinner and pulling out crazy tricks in bed are all terrible advice that is sabotaging your shot at a solid relationship.
Sure, you can do all of these things and a guy will appreciate it for a bit but any woman who tries hard enough can do these same things just as well if not better. There isn’t much to separate you from someone else.
You can jump through all the hoops you want and still not get your man’s heart. You bend over backwards for him only to be taken for granted or find yourself still shut out.
It’s not about being a challenge or even trying to prove how great you are.
It’s about having your own life and own interests going on that are ultimately going to attract a man to you and make him want to be a part of your life and lock you down.
Believe it or not but men actually love it when you don’t give up your own life just for them and the sake of the relationship.
This might seem counterintuitive but it will make sense in a minute.
Let’s look at it this way. You give up your hobbies, your interests, your nights out with friends, and your weekly activities all to dedicate yourself to your guy and the relationship.
Any time you hang out you ask him how his day was, what he’s been up to, what he does when he’s not with you, how things are going in his life, etc. He answers your questions but when he asks about your day and what’s going on in your life you don’t have any answers for him.
You have nothing to contribute to the conversation yourself. There is nothing interesting or new that you bring to the table to hold his interest because you gave up everything that makes you interesting!
Having a relationship has become the most important thing to you and it blinds you to everything else going on in life. It quickly becomes boring to a man because there is nothing new with you.
Having a life outside of a relationship is what attracts and holds a man’s attention and makes him want to be around you.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What is it that makes you unique?
- What makes you interesting?
- What separates you from any other woman?
You can go ahead and cook, clean, be good in bed, and devote yourself to a man but what’s stopping any other woman from doing the exact same thing?
So many women make the mistake of assuming that the act of having a relationship is what makes them interesting. Having something with a man does not make you interesting. It simply makes you a person who is in a relationship.
Having a man in your life does not make you interesting or intriguing. Millions of women have a man in their life and it doesn’t make them intriguing or even necessarily people you want to talk to or be around.
Get some hobbies and interests going. Go out with your friends and make plans with other people and more importantly stick to them. Don’t give up your plans just to accommodate your guy.
Doing things outside of the relationship will give you the element of interest you will ultimately bring to the table. A man is going to wonder what’s going on with you, what you’re up to, who you’re hanging out with, how your new workshop class went, etc.
It gives you something to talk about and something to contribute other than just physical acts of dedication and jumping through hoops.
It is not your job to impress a man into wanting to be with you.
On the contrary, men are naturally suited to being the ones trying to win you over. It is their job to try and impress you and prove that they are good enough for you to gift them with your attention and affection.
This is one thing that simply isn’t taught to women. Men are supposed to chase you, not the other way around.
When you chase a man and jump through hoops for him, he doesn’t learn to appreciate it properly. He learns to take it for granted because you are willing to bend over backwards for him and give up everything going on in your life to accommodate him.
Even if a man says he likes it, deep down he doesn’t want to experience that forever. It gets really boring and repetitive after a while and he moves on to the next woman who grabs his attention.
The most important thing you can do for your relationship is to not focus on it so much. It’s only one part of your life and you need to be involved in other activities.
Having your own life going on outside of the relationship is what ultimately attracts a man to you and makes him want to be around you and get to know you on a deeper and deeper level.
With love,
Nick Bastion
