We all make mistakes. We’re only human. But it’s really tough when we make those mistakes in our relationships and end up destroying everything.
Sometimes you have absolutely no idea what went wrong and would do anything to fix it. At times it might even feel like the same thing keeps happening to you over and over again. And yet, you can’t figure it out and stop it.
You might even feel like you’re in that Bill Murray movie where he continues waking up on Groundhog Day and living this nightmare that keeps repeating and yet he can’t figure out how to make it end.
It’s understandable that you want your relationship to go as smoothly as possible and be seen as the perfect woman in your man’s eyes. You want him to look at you adoringly and with love.
I’m about to reveal some common mistakes that can kill even the most stable relationship.
When you know what pitfalls to avoid, you can ensure that you spend more time having fun in your relationship and less time trying to fix mistakes that could have been skipped.
One of the biggest and nastiest mistakes you can make is letting insecurity and neediness take hold and grow inside of you. When you start letting doubts and second guesses enter your mind, you end up sabotaging yourself without meaning to.
Everything from constantly checking on your guy to asking his opinion on every outfit you put on all come across and insecurity and low self-esteem. In the early stages of a relationship a guy is willing to put up with this for a bit.
Emotions are running high and you’re both so infatuated with each other that things like this often go overlooked and slip through the cracks.
After a while though it gets tiresome and becomes a burden on a man to constantly have to reassure you or check in with you so that you can keep tabs on him. It starts to feel like a collar tightening around his neck until he can’t breathe.
That’s when you notice him start to withdraw, talk to you less, and spend more time apart with seemingly no explanation or reason.
A man is not meant to be your personal cheerleader. He can’t be with you all the time, consoling you and making you happy. I cannot stress enough how important it is to have your own life going on outside of a relationship.
When you make the relationship your top priority and depend on it to keep you happy and entertained, you end up disappointed and hurt.
Having other things going on around you that don’t involve your man not only hold your attention in a healthy way, but it also gives him a bit of breathing room.
He can’t miss you if he’s constantly by your side. You need to let go of any fear that is gripping your chest and trust him.
Give him the benefit of the doubt instead of looking over him all the time. You are his significant other, not his mother.
If you don’t nip insecurity in the bud then it can lead to more problems that are going to poison your relationship. As you allow your insecurity to take hold, you may end up nagging at your guy.
Every little thing he does that sets you off or causes you distress is an instance where you pester and peck at him to change his behavior. You figure that by the 50th time of telling him how much something bothers you he’ll finally “get it”.
However, the only thing this accomplishes is to make him upset and push him further away from you. He would rather ignore you completely than get nagged at over and over again. It’s a lose-lose situation.
Being selfish is another side product of insecurity. When you need and demand so much from a man, it becomes a burden and his desire to please you and make you happy starts to disappear.
As much as men want to please you and make you happy, they don’t like feeling obligated and having demands made on them. When you expect him to do things for you all the time and take care of you, it starts to feel like babysitting.
To use an old cliché, “It takes two to tango”, meaning that relationships need compromise and effort from both sides.
Some women act as though they are queens who can do no wrong and expect men to fall over themselves to take care of them. They never say thank you. They always seem to ask “What can you do for me?”
A simple thank you and acknowledging what your man already does for you will go a long way.
He needs to feel appreciated too and secretly desires to hear you tell him how much he means to you. He doesn’t want to feel as though he’s being taken for granted any more than you do.
One final mistake that ends up slowly sinking a relationship is not taking care of yourself.
Now, before you start getting upset and think that I’m going to tell you that you have to be dressed and look perfect all the time, just hear me out.
When I say take care of yourself I mean the whole package. I don’t mean do your hair every day, put your make up on, and wear revealing clothes in order to keep your man.
Everything from nutrition to exercise to how you carry yourself are all elements of how you look and how other people perceive you.
I know it’s easy to fall into a routine in a relationship and start getting comfortable around each other. You might begin choosing jeans and a tshirt over a dress when going out. On Sunday mornings you don’t even bother getting out of your pajamas before making breakfast together.
Then it gets worse where you stop working out or start eating crap food. You might feel a little bad but you overlook how you feel and continue on.
All of these little things add up and it’s more than just gaining some weight or not making an effort to look good.
While looks are not the most important thing to men, physical attraction ranks up there pretty high. Men are attracted to women who take care of themselves and feel good about their bodies.
It really does not matter what size you are or if you’ve got a pear-shaped butt. Men all have their own preferences and when a man is into you it shows that he finds you physically attractive.
When you start to let yourself go, you’re becoming a different person than who he fell in love with. It shows that you are too lazy to maintain even a minimum of appearance because your man likes to see you looking good.
It’s not about being superficial or looking “hot” all the time. But making some effort shows that you care about yourself, your health, and being attractive to your partner.
When you look good, he’s proud of you. He wants to show you off and know that other people find you attractive.
Let me put it to you this way. If you made dinner reservations at a nice restaurant to have a night out with your man and he comes out of the bedroom wearing ratty old jeans, beat up sneakers, and a t-shirt with a dumb slogan on it, how would you feel?
You’d probably be a little pissed off that he couldn’t even wear a decent pair of pants, nice shoes, and at least a button down shirt. You want him to show you that respect of looking good since you have a nice evening planned out for the two of you to share.
You can even blame biology if you want. Men are hardwired to prioritize physical attraction. They can’t help it.
In the end, it all comes down to whether you want to make these careless mistakes or choose to avoid them now that you know what to look for.
Relationships do take work but they shouldn’t be more difficult than they already are. You can save yourself the trouble and heartache by eliminating these bad behaviors from your relationship and keeping it free from these deadly mistakes.
With Love,
Nick Bastion
